Cele-bri-tay!

What is this "celebrity" status, that eliminates your human rights?

You have tacitly consented to having your image used in the public eye, and thereby agreed that anything you do within sight of another, either present or remote, may be suitable for publication.

You can never be shirtless in ANY situation with the expectation that you are alone, without understanding and accepting that your physical attributes will be viciously attacked by bitter queens on anonymous message boards of varying quality.

As compensation, you are a celebrity. That is your profession, and that is how you support your lifestyle.

As a professional celebrity, it is expected that you obtain a percentage, or "kick," from the media outlets that devote air time or ink space to you.

Mrs Fisk at PS8

She was a "floating" teacher, who would visit our class each week when it was time for our music lesson.

Mrs Fisk had highly styled dyed red hair. Her sweaters were always tight against her torpedo breasts. Her nails were long and painted, and she favored bangle bracelets that clanged when she moved her arms.

Her manicure always made a better impression when she moved her arms.

She presided over our weekly school assemblies like a stern general. Proper attire was required ar these events, which meant jackets and ties for the gentlemen and dresses for the ladies. The white glove requirement hadn't been enforced for five or six years.

Anyone without a tie was dismissed as a "weed" that had to be removed, to be kept from spoiling her "beautiful garden."

Halloween always reminds me of Mrs Fisk. Maybe it's the orange...

Love me some Joel

Tonight on "The Soup," I confirmed what I had long suspected: they re-edit the show after its initial airing Friday nights. The second showing, which immediately follows the first, had some worthwhile ommissions.

Before going into the "Clip of the Week" segment, which featured three over-the-top gay judges from the "Crowns and Tiaras" pageants doing a guest gig of judging a "Glitz" pageant, Joel stressed that he was now officially LEAVING the segment which had immediately followed, called "What Your Boyfriend is Looking At." (This week's "WYBILA" segment featured a slick talker who was attempting to "entice" attractive young women at a pool party to work for his company, by complimenting them on their breasts and offering them full medical benefits for anything that might be ailing their vaginas.

When the show aired for the second time, Joel's disclosure about the Glitz segment specifically NOT being part of the WYBILA segment had been clipped out.

I'm just sayin'...

Love me some BRT!

Today the SFGate paid a much deserved paeon to Berkeley Repertory Theater and the incredible work that they do.

The current production, "American Idiot," has been extended through November 17. Go.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/10/16/MN6R1A2PO1.DTL

MT presents MJ

Madame Tussaud's has just unveiled a wax figure of Michael Jackson.

Madame Tussauds Hollywood welcomed "The King of Pop", Michael Jackson, to its star studded wax attraction on Thursday, August 27. The pop superstar's wax figure is the newest addition to the attraction's collection and just in time for what would have been his 51st birthday.

More Family Values!

So the kidnapped and sex-enslaved 28 year old woman who was kept a prisoner from the age of 11 and bore two children by this man and his wife, who were both registered sex offenders, is only a warm-up for the truly sensational story of Jon and Kate getting into an argument in the parking lot of the Toys'R'Us while their adorable sextuplets lined up to take a bus ride to their first day of school!

It seems as if only yesterday those two kids were so deeply in love, and their family was the blossoming fruit of their union. Jon and Kate, plus eight.

SFGate: Shackled Tracy boy stumbled on means of escape

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Thursday, February 5, 2009 (SF Chronicle)
Shackled Tracy boy stumbled on means of escape
Henry K. Lee, Chronicle Staff Writer

(02-04) 12:17 PST TRACY --
The 16-year-old boy who was allegedly tortured, beaten and chained to a
fireplace in a Tracy home escaped his captors when he found a key that
unlocked his shackles, according to court documents released today.
The boy had been imprisoned for more than a year until Dec. 1, when he
found the key while being driven by his alleged tormentors in an SUV,
Tracy police Detective Ryan Knight wrote in an affidavit filed in San
Joaquin County Superior Court.
When they got home, the boy freed himself with the key, leaped over an
8-foot-wall from the backyard of the home on Tennis Lane in central Tracy
and limped into the In-Shape Sport fitness club. He had cuts and sores and
was covered in soot, employees said. A 3-foot chain was attached to his
right ankle.
Four people have been charged with a litany of felonies, including
kidnapping, aggravated mayhem, child endangerment, false imprisonment and
corporal injury to a child.
Michael Schumacher, 34; his wife, Kelly Layne Lau, 30; Caren Ramirez, 43,
a houseguest who stayed in their home and the boy's former guardian; and
next-door neighbor Anthony Waiters, 29, are being held at San Joaquin
County Jail. If convicted, each could face life in prison.
According to court documents, the boy told police that he had been forced
to live inside a fireplace, had been repeatedly beaten on the head with a
baseball bat and had been given pills, alcohol and marijuana to keep him
lethargic.
He also reported that he had once been cut with a knife and "strangled
with a belt until he lost consciousness," police Detective Nathan Cogburn
wrote in a statement that outlined grounds for the search of the home.
The boy told police that on one occasion he had been asleep in - and
chained to - the fireplace when one of the suspects lit a blaze on
purpose, burning his left arm, Cogburn wrote.
The boy was never allowed to leave the home alone, was denied food for
days at a time, was repeatedly beaten and was always chained to either the
fireplace or a "heavy, practically unmovable table," the detective wrote.
Among the items seized from the home were knives, bottles of Jack Daniels
and Southern Comfort, and chains attached to a sports punching bag hanging
in the garage, where the boy also apparently stayed, authorities said.

E-mail Henry K. Lee at hlee@sfchronicle.com. ----------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright 2009 SF Chronicle