Pug Pillows

My Lulu squirmed her way onto the couch, into the cushions, reveling in the warmth. Before we could snuggle, however, a horse appeared on the tv and she flew away.

Isabella is very good company on a chilly night. She is always ready for a good warming cuddle. She is a wonderful, loving presence in my lap.

As I was pondering Heather's loss and the experiences she and Ruby must be having with the new girl in town, and remembering that Heather and I agree that it is important for dogs to "say" (or sniff?) goodbye to a fallen packmate, I wondered whether Heather had kept Lulu, or buried her, or burned her body.

Cremation seems so wasteful, don't you think? Such a beautiful creature who lived her life in love and luxury would make an incredible plush toy! We could sew one of those cans that low like a cow, so that she could grumble with realism whenever Heather gives her little body a good rocking.

My favorite plush toy was a stuffed koala bear. Its fur was so soft, and snuggly, I would feel safe in my bed at night only I clutched my teddy bear tightly.

Doesn't it make sense that, instead of ditching the livestock just as it's ready to start paying off, we make a few adjustments to raise the value?

All pugs will eventually slip into uncomfortable old age, and no matter how dearly we care for them they will, one day, die. Just when we come to believe that we would find life unbearable without them, they are gone.

Or...are they?

Why stress out yourself, your relationship, your home, by introducing a new animal? Your pug hadn't peed the carpet since you'd last had the floors done over...why chance it? You had to move all the furniture, and the dust was everywhere, and there was no place to sit down for weeks.

Oh, Susan.

We could sew an optional heating pad under the skin. (Oh, you do know how to sew, don't you?) and conceal the plug, well, it should be obvious.

Or, heck, in a few more years if Heather saves all of the skins, she'll have a uniquely marvelous coat or bead throw.

MMMMmmmm.

I wish I had a nice Francesca and Bessie Boo blanket to cuddle under right now.

I'd settle for a nice pair of boxer gloves.

Sucking Oxygen

Tonight's program was focused on an all-live, all-drag re-enactment of two classic "Golden Girls" episodes, complete with period-specific advertisements to which we all knew all of the words, and sang along together happily, in the dark.

Then...Dorothy snapped.

"Would you please stop talking?" she commanded across the footlights.

There were some cute guys jostling each other and enjoying the show, perhaps a bit too boisterously, who were shushed by the sound/light guy (bearded, with a silver ring through his nose) only moments before Dorothy's big break.

I was sitting in the very back of the room, so there was nobody behind me to worry about. I had a terrific vantage point to see everything on stage. The lighting was adequate (we could use a special wash dr3 when the boyfriend sticks his head in the door) and the setting conveyed the reliable feeling of the living room, kitchen, and soup kitchen where the sitcom characters sat.

Jordan's "Rose" was vapid and succulent. Where the traditional Rose is unfailingly blind to any sort of innuendo in her phraseology, Jordan's gal has always got the engine idling, just beneath the surface.

Matthew Martin as the mother of the bride - the bride being her beloved baby brother who has finally come out and decided to bring his boyfriend home to meet the family - stole my heart. Every moment of Matthew's performance is as nuanced and delicate as the original, and it would take you more moments than you have remaining in a lifetime to watch all of the originals, so here you have him. He's an original! I guarantee he will be original to you!

Oh, so who did I forget to mention? Only Mike Finn, who has been "in" the show business since he was a small child. The only opportunity I had previously to watch Finn perform was an early audience at "TROG!" Well, I will now say for the record that I am a fan of Mike's work. He absolutely pays attention to what his character is experiencing throughout a scene, and so he works through the character's interaction with the other characters and surroundings to keep each moment fresh and rewarding in its discovery.

While I'm in context, I should feel safe in agreeing that Mike Finn is a lovely guy, and much, MUCH deeper than he lets on, both because I believe these things to be true about Mike Finn but also because Connie says such horrible, hateful things about Mike.

I passed a delivery truck. On the side of the truck was painted "Popkoff's Frozen Foods" and a portrait of a smiling chef, with a broad face and a slim moustache, proffering a tray of hors d'oeuvres. Could it be...Blanche?

Anyway, back to the oxygen being sucked out of the room...

The sound/light guy shushed the cute guys in the middle, and then moments later Heklina turned and made her request of a sweet young couple who, I then realized, must have been commenting to each other back and forth during the performance although from a distance of ten feet directly behind them I hadn't noticed they had been talking until Hek drew my attention to it by asking them to stop talking.

Ouch.

What is it about that corn?

I thought you should know.

Insidious Thanksgiving VyeRuss

Tonight I received an email warning me of a horrible virus. It was forwarded by a dear friend to whom 47 is a distant memory.

 

The message that he forwarded IS the "virus." It's a Holiday Bump and it's really very sweet.

 

Most "viruses" do things to our computers without our consent. We worry that we'll be stripped of confidential information, suffer identity theft, and end our days in misery and want. In order for them to do anything, they must contain executable code which can hi-jack the operating system.

 

The email is forwarded for no other reason than...to inspire you to forward the email. If you forward the email to everyone in your address book, and each of those people forwards it to everyone they know, traffic could get a little dicey.

 

Here's another one that I just made up. This email contains a virus that causes your front porch light bulb to go out. The purpose of this virus is to cause everyone who reads it to get up and check their porch light. It does not intend to be forwarded to anyone else, because it is so easy to check that the porch light did not, in fact, go out.

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Check out AOL Money & Finance's list of the hottest products and top money wasters of 2007.

Have we no shame?

See link: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/object/article?o=2&f=/c/a/2007/11/18/BAJRTF0EN.DTL

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Crazy is as Crazy Do!

Michael Grbich, the 75 year old Oaklander who recently tap danced his way across the Golden Gate Bridge "because he could!", would have been stunned with a cattle prod and served up at SFGeneral on a stainless steel gurney had it not been for the 60 or so friends, fans and family he had invited to attend this festive, theatrical, and athletic event.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/11/18/BAJRTF0EN.DTL

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Henckels Ever Sharp Ginzu Knives

So, Henckels "Ever Sharp" -- are these Ginzu Knives?

Tonight I gently, oh, so gently sliced a ripe avocado while holding the knife in my left hand and the avocado in my right. Dinner was lovely - roast pork loin, steamed broccoli and basmati coconut rice with a green salad.Yum.Washing the dishes, I noticed a sharp pain in my right index finger. wtf?

I now have bandaids on two fingers of my right hand. These knives are so intensely sharp, the concept of a "gentle" stroke is unknown to them. Oh, god, I just realized that the other finger must have been sliced when I was slicing carrots for pug treats. The damage was done two days ago, and I've been unsuccessful with NuSkin (liquid bandage, paints on like nail polish and claims to disinfect and seal slight wounds and promote healing) so today I gave in. I peroxided, treated it with antibacterial ointment, and wrapped in a bandaid.

Are these knives from the devil? Other options suggest that my life may have simply been lead without sharp knives until now, or else my coordination is failing and I am currently incapable of doing anything in a truly gentle manner.