Walked the woods today.

After the rains, there are several large ruts filled with muddy, stagnant water. One was clearly home to several dozen mosquito larvae, who were all looking eagerly toward to their blood feast, coming right after sunset.

For any souls who have climbed the hill in search of a beautiful sunset view, the thrill of nature’s glory is overcome by the sudden realization that every bit of exposed skin is being swarmed by mosquitoes.

From behind the glass, we can see the mosquitos in silhouette, flapping toward the sunset’s reflection.

Soon the bats wake up, and come hungry for breakfast. They fly past the windows in loops and spirals, happily noshing on sweet young mosquitoes, freshly fattened on the blood of tourists.

Update Needed

I had forgotten all about this blog, until Google reminded me to update my preferences “to continue receiving “ notices whenever anyone comments on the blog.
Although in 12 years there have been zero notifications about zero comments, I feel safe in assuming that their system works.

Late, but with a cute dog story...

For the FIRST TIME EVER I arrived LATE for the THEATER!

The house staff at the Geary were gracious and accommodating. I feel as if they expected I would want to be seated immediately in my normal seat, whether there was a scene on stage or not . I was gracefully eased from Standing Room into a nearby aisle seat, and then once I became comfortable with the length of the scene changes, I slithered into home with no fuss.

The show, "4000 Miles" by Amy Herzog in it's West Coast Premiere at the American Conservatory Theater, under the direction of Mark Rucker, is a delightful inter-generational tragi-comedy. A final, extra performance will be played this Sunday, February 10 at 7pm.

I was taking my usual walk up Powell to California, where I turned left and continued to the top of Nob Hill. I like to take a stroll around Huntington Park after dinner, and then descend Taylor to Geary for an evening at ACT. It was just an hour after sunset, and the light was low and lovely.

Usually there are dogs in the park, and I like to say "hello" to them on my way through.

Tonight there was an adorable Boston Terrier and a Shih Tzu playing "chase me" around and around a mud puddle. The Shih Tzu's mom, an attactive young woman, dressed to the nines, was standing IN the mud puddle. Every time the dogs circled around her and dove into the mud, she stomped her boots and squealed, waving her arms.

I pointed out that she was setting a horrible example for the dogs, who must have thought she was playing in the mud with them.

The Boston Terrier's father, a young gay, laughed and acknowledged that HIS dog would need a quick once-over with a damp paper towel, while the Shih Tzu' s mom was crying because her little girl was going to need a major bath.

Just then a perfectly groomed fluffball of a Bichon Frise came by, wearing a monogrammed sweater, on an Italian leather leash. I don't know if this was the first time he had met the Shih Tzu  but there seemed to be a mutual attraction, and lovemaking ensued.

"Look!" I said to the Shih Tzu's mom. "This nice Bichon Frise is helping! He's scrubbing her back!"

Metal Filings

Work progresses on the apartment renovation, in spite of my well founded concerns that irresponsible behavior with power tools may have not only contaminated the property with toxic dust from pulverized concrete, drywall, and many metal parts that finally yielded to my power tools, but also compromised my health and that of my future tenants by exposing us to these corrosive clouds.

Last night I realized that my sinuses are connected not only to my eye sockets, but to the inside of the rest of my face. Saturate your flesh with anticoagulants, shoot it with microscopic metal shards, and they migrate! Your body is going to have a heck of a time dealing with the resultant irritation.

Today I finally found the fancy goggles at Home Depot. (Middle of the tool corral, in an aisle marked, "Personal Safety.") Too late for some, soon enough for many.

I caught Kathy Griffin giving fabulous guest on Whitney Cumming,  and thought to myself, "Look at Kathy Griffin. She is beautiful and radiant tonight! That dress is perfect! I bet she went through her entire day without exposing herself to metal filings!"

CAUTION: NUDITY

I'm watching my favorite terrorizing program on cable, about a series of horrific people doing dreadful things in a mental asylum. Thirteen minutes in, and we've had serial murders, torture, rape, Catholicism, demonic possession, Nazi medical experiments, Santa Claus, alien carnivores,and lesbianism. In spite if the viewer warning, we have not seen any nudity.

They didn't warn us about the abortion with a wire hanger performed on herself by the lesbian who had been raped by a serial killer, but at least we were prepared to see any nudity that might have come on screen.

magnus cinaedus

Don't we love Latin?

Old Tenants - Dirty Habits

I have a vacant townhouse that I'm cleaning and painting to rent. The neighborhood has had its ups and downs, and it seems that it's been on an upward trajectory since the downturn in the real estate market. There was a note under the doorknob yesterday, addressed to "Management" and seeking an a.s.a.p. move due to foreclosure. Today I received an ALL CAPS email, in RED, expressing surprised delight that the apartment she had lived in 15 years ago was available! While a nice young couple with a boxer were taking applications, a wild woman in her 40's and her too-too tattooed ex-con boyfriend had accepted my invitation to "come in." The wild woman turned out to be the ALL RED CAPS person, as well as the author of the note to "Management" stuck in the door. In cleaning the apartment, and the new vanity, I was reminded of the work involved in replacing it. I remembered a strange item, discovered hidden beneath the old vanity. It was a curious thing, made of condoms stuffed with bottles. My assistants immediately knew what it was, and groaned in unison when I finally figured out that it was a homemade sex toy. (Why does everyone seem to expect that I'm a sex-crazed lunatic? Sometimes sex is the absolute furthest thing from my mind!) So would it have been inappropriate for me to ask this woman whether or not she had lost "something" in the bathroom 17 years ago?

It occurs to me that this woman probably never lived at the property, but simply uses this note-on-the-doorknob scenario to find an apartment to rent without using a rental service. Am I this retarded all the time?

I'm sorry I never heard back from the boxer people. If I had simply eliminated the scary people from the situation. With future rental openings, I need to be more in control.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, scary people, but this very nice couple with a lovely dog are going to take this apartment. I think I saw some vacant apartments over near XYZ Street. Maybe you can find something you like over there?"

Sad

Recently I read that when you have a friend who never says a flattering thing about anyone, they absolutely have nothing nice to say about you to anyone else.

So sad, and so true.

Cele-bri-tay!

What is this "celebrity" status, that eliminates your human rights?

You have tacitly consented to having your image used in the public eye, and thereby agreed that anything you do within sight of another, either present or remote, may be suitable for publication.

You can never be shirtless in ANY situation with the expectation that you are alone, without understanding and accepting that your physical attributes will be viciously attacked by bitter queens on anonymous message boards of varying quality.

As compensation, you are a celebrity. That is your profession, and that is how you support your lifestyle.

As a professional celebrity, it is expected that you obtain a percentage, or "kick," from the media outlets that devote air time or ink space to you.

Mrs Fisk at PS8

She was a "floating" teacher, who would visit our class each week when it was time for our music lesson.

Mrs Fisk had highly styled dyed red hair. Her sweaters were always tight against her torpedo breasts. Her nails were long and painted, and she favored bangle bracelets that clanged when she moved her arms.

Her manicure always made a better impression when she moved her arms.

She presided over our weekly school assemblies like a stern general. Proper attire was required ar these events, which meant jackets and ties for the gentlemen and dresses for the ladies. The white glove requirement hadn't been enforced for five or six years.

Anyone without a tie was dismissed as a "weed" that had to be removed, to be kept from spoiling her "beautiful garden."

Halloween always reminds me of Mrs Fisk. Maybe it's the orange...

Love me some Joel

Tonight on "The Soup," I confirmed what I had long suspected: they re-edit the show after its initial airing Friday nights. The second showing, which immediately follows the first, had some worthwhile ommissions.

Before going into the "Clip of the Week" segment, which featured three over-the-top gay judges from the "Crowns and Tiaras" pageants doing a guest gig of judging a "Glitz" pageant, Joel stressed that he was now officially LEAVING the segment which had immediately followed, called "What Your Boyfriend is Looking At." (This week's "WYBILA" segment featured a slick talker who was attempting to "entice" attractive young women at a pool party to work for his company, by complimenting them on their breasts and offering them full medical benefits for anything that might be ailing their vaginas.

When the show aired for the second time, Joel's disclosure about the Glitz segment specifically NOT being part of the WYBILA segment had been clipped out.

I'm just sayin'...

Love me some BRT!

Today the SFGate paid a much deserved paeon to Berkeley Repertory Theater and the incredible work that they do.

The current production, "American Idiot," has been extended through November 17. Go.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/10/16/MN6R1A2PO1.DTL

MT presents MJ

Madame Tussaud's has just unveiled a wax figure of Michael Jackson.

Madame Tussauds Hollywood welcomed "The King of Pop", Michael Jackson, to its star studded wax attraction on Thursday, August 27. The pop superstar's wax figure is the newest addition to the attraction's collection and just in time for what would have been his 51st birthday.

More Family Values!

So the kidnapped and sex-enslaved 28 year old woman who was kept a prisoner from the age of 11 and bore two children by this man and his wife, who were both registered sex offenders, is only a warm-up for the truly sensational story of Jon and Kate getting into an argument in the parking lot of the Toys'R'Us while their adorable sextuplets lined up to take a bus ride to their first day of school!

It seems as if only yesterday those two kids were so deeply in love, and their family was the blossoming fruit of their union. Jon and Kate, plus eight.

SFGate: Shackled Tracy boy stumbled on means of escape

----------------------------------------------------------------------
This article was sent to you by someone who found it on SFGate.
The original article can be found on SFGate.com here:
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2009/02/05/BAUI15N8PH.DTL
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Thursday, February 5, 2009 (SF Chronicle)
Shackled Tracy boy stumbled on means of escape
Henry K. Lee, Chronicle Staff Writer

(02-04) 12:17 PST TRACY --
The 16-year-old boy who was allegedly tortured, beaten and chained to a
fireplace in a Tracy home escaped his captors when he found a key that
unlocked his shackles, according to court documents released today.
The boy had been imprisoned for more than a year until Dec. 1, when he
found the key while being driven by his alleged tormentors in an SUV,
Tracy police Detective Ryan Knight wrote in an affidavit filed in San
Joaquin County Superior Court.
When they got home, the boy freed himself with the key, leaped over an
8-foot-wall from the backyard of the home on Tennis Lane in central Tracy
and limped into the In-Shape Sport fitness club. He had cuts and sores and
was covered in soot, employees said. A 3-foot chain was attached to his
right ankle.
Four people have been charged with a litany of felonies, including
kidnapping, aggravated mayhem, child endangerment, false imprisonment and
corporal injury to a child.
Michael Schumacher, 34; his wife, Kelly Layne Lau, 30; Caren Ramirez, 43,
a houseguest who stayed in their home and the boy's former guardian; and
next-door neighbor Anthony Waiters, 29, are being held at San Joaquin
County Jail. If convicted, each could face life in prison.
According to court documents, the boy told police that he had been forced
to live inside a fireplace, had been repeatedly beaten on the head with a
baseball bat and had been given pills, alcohol and marijuana to keep him
lethargic.
He also reported that he had once been cut with a knife and "strangled
with a belt until he lost consciousness," police Detective Nathan Cogburn
wrote in a statement that outlined grounds for the search of the home.
The boy told police that on one occasion he had been asleep in - and
chained to - the fireplace when one of the suspects lit a blaze on
purpose, burning his left arm, Cogburn wrote.
The boy was never allowed to leave the home alone, was denied food for
days at a time, was repeatedly beaten and was always chained to either the
fireplace or a "heavy, practically unmovable table," the detective wrote.
Among the items seized from the home were knives, bottles of Jack Daniels
and Southern Comfort, and chains attached to a sports punching bag hanging
in the garage, where the boy also apparently stayed, authorities said.

E-mail Henry K. Lee at hlee@sfchronicle.com. ----------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright 2009 SF Chronicle

Killed the other two

Georgina is not comfortable being a young adult. She had a fling with it, even smoked part of a cigarette after the act, but it was not an experience that she felt a compulsion to repeat. She clearly demonstrates an affinity for children, and a wonderful way to interact with them in creative and nurturing ways. She is clearly the ideal mother in this picture. Compare Georgina to the other female characters portrayed in the movie. There's the frigid hypochondrical wife, and the abrupt serviceable butler's housekeeper/spouse. Charlotte Rampling's character is musically talented as well as beautiful, and popular, and much too eager to meet you for a drink after her 2pm d&c. Georgy Girl wants more than anything to be a mother. A mother needs a husband and a father for the child. Learnington has always wanted to be a father, and has always loved Georgina chastely but with far-off lust. Georgy Girl has always known that she's less attractive and less talented than her sister, but the sister attracted the delicious Alan Bates who is also seemingly blessed in the genetics department. Best possible outcome of combinations has most beautiful and talented two persons of the opposite sex copulate and conceive, with absolutely no unpleasant outcome for anyone involved. Georgy gets a baby more beautiful and talented, she must feel, than any baby that she could have conceived in her own body.

Question about Slavery

I see people with children, pets and other dependents every day. What would it be like to have a slave to not only look after you, but for whose needs you would be forced to provide. Human livestock need to be fed, clothed, and housed, in the same way as the other kinds. It would be great to have someone under your control who would cut the corn or pick the cotton, but where would they find the time to earn subsistance wages from a job outside of slavery to support themselves and their family? Oh, it would become the responsibility of the slave owner to directly provide for the needs of the slave's family. Consider having a houseboy. If anybody asks personal questions, just tell them that you have a [italic]gentlemens' agreement.[/italic] Is there really a crime in being someone's [italic]willing[/italic] slave? As long as they treat you well? So you get bored with the gig, and you decide to strip down to your tattered underthings, shackle yourself around the ankles, and shuffle-step down to the nearest police station to report your abuse?

Mother Gives Birth to Litter

I suspect that this is an experiment in human cloning.

There's no better explanation.

She wasn't paying for fertility treatments...she is being compensated for lending herself to be the subject in this cloning experiment. Her prior experience with multiple births qualified her for this protocol.

With so many women striving to compete in a professional world, who's left to bear children and perpetuate the species?

Reproductive resources are dwindling. Mankind has turned to science to make increasingly efficient use of the resources that remain.

Within a few years we should be celebrating the birth of duodectuplets from willing, healthy "breeder moms" while the majority of women pursue a life that any man would envy.

Lulu hates Showtunes!

It was nice catching up with you yesterday, until your bastard of a phone battery died. Nice technology!

Hey, I wanted to tell you another Lulu story.
Yesterday the girls and I had a totally lazy Sunday - curled up on the couch, fire in the fireplace, iPod shuffling on the stereo while I played with computer games.

The iPod's choices had me laughing, and of course I like to sing along with the songs I know.

Jessica Molasky-Pizzarelli (she's current Broadway Royalty, and her husband is a Jazz great. They often perform and record together) was singing a jazzy version of "Not Getting Married" from "Company" when, all of a sudden, Lulu reared up and made a noise like a scream.

It's not unusual for her to react to dogs, horses, kitties, or other furry faces on the television screen, but there was no such thing to have gotten her attention. It was the song!

She arched her back, like a cat, ran down the doggy steps, and smacked her paw against the iPod - to turn off the music! After two well-placed smacks it was silent.

Satisfied, she slowly climbed back up onto the couch and took up her previous position in a furry ball between my feet. As she snuggled down she lifted one eyelid and glanced up at me, to make sure I "got it."

Bailout Tax Credit for Credit Card Interest

What is a "bailout" but an agreement between parties to shift a few numbers across the page? Wouldn't you feel better if you believed a specific number of your tax dollars were being used to fund specific bank-saving programs? The numbers have to come from somewhere. Either they get moved around within existing amounts or else new ones have to be printed. We are them. We know that we're all going to have to share in the effort required to put it back together again. You have a feeling about the obligation to repay your credit card debt that is different from the feeling you have about your obligation to pay your income taxes. All it takes, really, is to approve a few changes to our tax returns. Make a note of credit card interest paid, to specific lenders if necessary, and give that number a greater tax advantage. It's not money that's actually coming out of your pocket so much as it's credit for the bank having taken it out. Government regulation will require the banks to show that they have been spreading, or spending the moneys under their care responsibly.