I have a vacant townhouse that I'm cleaning and painting to rent. The neighborhood has had its ups and downs, and it seems that it's been on an upward trajectory since the downturn in the real estate market.
There was a note under the doorknob yesterday, addressed to "Management" and seeking an a.s.a.p. move due to foreclosure.
Today I received an ALL CAPS email, in RED, expressing surprised delight that the apartment she had lived in 15 years ago was available!
While a nice young couple with a boxer were taking applications, a wild woman in her 40's and her too-too tattooed ex-con boyfriend had accepted my invitation to "come in." The wild woman turned out to be the ALL RED CAPS person, as well as the author of the note to "Management" stuck in the door.
In cleaning the apartment, and the new vanity, I was reminded of the work involved in replacing it. I remembered a strange item, discovered hidden beneath the old vanity. It was a curious thing, made of condoms stuffed with bottles. My assistants immediately knew what it was, and groaned in unison when I finally figured out that it was a homemade sex toy. (Why does everyone seem to expect that I'm a sex-crazed lunatic? Sometimes sex is the absolute furthest thing from my mind!)
So would it have been inappropriate for me to ask this woman whether or not she had lost "something" in the bathroom 17 years ago?
It occurs to me that this woman probably never lived at the property, but simply uses this note-on-the-doorknob scenario to find an apartment to rent without using a rental service. Am I this retarded all the time?
I'm sorry I never heard back from the boxer people. If I had simply eliminated the scary people from the situation. With future rental openings, I need to be more in control.
"Oh, I'm so sorry, scary people, but this very nice couple with a lovely dog are going to take this apartment. I think I saw some vacant apartments over near XYZ Street. Maybe you can find something you like over there?"
